You have a connection!
My phone lit up with the Bumble message last Sunday. What random weirdo did I get lucky with this time?
He was from New Zealand, tall, fit, and very cute. I didn’t see any flags on his profile to stop me from initiating contact. So, what do I do? My usual. I ignored it and returned to work. I wasn’t in the mood to babysit another boy that can’t keep his dick in his pants.
However, it so happened that same week I posted a vlog about how to quality screen an online connection. If I’m blogging about dating with the expectation that my followers are putting themselves out there, it’s only right that I do the same. To add, if I firmly believe in my own advice and I’m putting it out there, then I need to follow it as well.
So, I committed to my screening process.
I qualified him with my questions. Our communication was consistent and progressive through Bumble, What’s App and eventually by phone. As soon as I was comfortable and excited, I agreed to meet him Wednesday early evening here in Canggu.
Was the meet up worth it? Did the screening practice prove effective?
It absolutely was, and it absolutely did.
The short of it – we spent as much time as we could until he had to fly out. The time together was comfortable (very understated feeling), easy and fun. Connection and chemistry came naturally. We had a similar outlook on relationships, values, and building a living that is true to ourselves, some of this I picked up on in our previous chats. The point is, we were in a similar place.
It’s fair to say that the screening was a success.
Fortunately for me, he was aware of my latest blog which getting his side of the experience would bring this to full circle. Here is what he said:
- Conversation was engaging. Our thread showed that I asked him things. Ironically, it stemmed from my pre-set questions. As a result, I came across as interested and not juggling multiple conversations which was true. Talking to too many matches can work against you by keeping your conversations from getting interesting and deeper.
- No delay, or games being played. He liked that my response time was reasonable. There were no delays that dragged on for too long, say a day or so. This probably helped maintain the conversation momentum.
- Initiative to call. When he proposed to push his flight over to come to Canggu, I knew we had to speak on the phone stat. I needed to know that we could hold a conversation and truly get along before any further commitment. I made the call right on the spot. He liked that I did that. It showed that I was serious, interested and of action. Cherry on top – We couldn’t help but get more excited about meeting each other.
- Willing to commit to meeting up. Before the flight change, he asked again if I’m truly meeting him. He got a solid yes from me, no hesitation or uncertainty. I committed to this and that was reassuring to him that this would potentially be worth it. For me, the screening gave me confidence that this would be a fun night. No doubt.
We all know that dating takes a lot more than just this part, but at least the front-end of this experience will be more enjoyable and worthy. With a little extra thought and effort, you’ll have a better handle of your dating.
So, what happened after this great date?
He was in town to scope out Bali for work and living. He’s now back in Auckland, and I am in Bali. However, by this Wednesday, I am flying out to see him and his country of New Zealand.
Side note: I have a knack for screwing things up. Hopefully, he likes me enough to look past my shit because, at the end of the day, everyone has shit. It’s about whether if my shit, his shit or anyone’s shit is shit you’re willing to deal with.
If he doesn’t, its ok. It’s part of life.
‘Til Next, Elisa
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