Here in Bali, some of us are still going for the gold: dating. My friends encourage me to get the toe in. Get a taste of the BBE (Bali Boyfriend Experience). I’m on the fence whether to truly try it or not. Frankly, I’m not a fan of the let downs dating involves. I’m sure you aren’t either. Especially, when you start liking someone or getting attached, you find out things about him or her that you weren’t made aware of early on. These let downs, also known as red flags, can really bite you in the ass.
Some of us get so hopeful and eager to finally be with someone that we choose to overlook potential signs of trouble ahead. You know we’ve all done this more than we can count in one hand. So why we do continue to do it? Know, same (dating) behavior breeds same (dating) results.
If I can contribute anything to the dating community, here are some key flags to remain cautious about. I’ve had my fair share. If you or your date falls into any one of these, then stop what you’re doing because you’re about to ruin…someone who is only trying to find some honest love. #dontbethatperson
Stay Away from the Following
- You don’t have a plan. It understandable if you’re in transition. We’ve all quit or been let go of our jobs, unhappy in the place we’re in or starting a new venture. Whatever it may be, that means that dating is not a priority even if the girl across from the table is as hot as Megan Fox and could be the perfect girlfriend. Get your shit straight so you can enjoy what life offers…possibly with her if the time aligns. We need you able and self-sufficient first and foremost.
- You just got out of a relationship. Hey buddy, I’m glad you’re doing what you can to move on, but don’t do it at my expense. I don’t care if you’ve been on the outs for a while. You may be curious to re-familiarize with the single life and you haven’t realized it yet. The point is, I’m not your therapy dog. Call me when you really like me and not because you’re lonely.
- You get overly excited about things (me). On paper we may seem like a great match but know there is so more to get to know. Like me for what you learn about me over time, not the image you’re building in your head. Don’t get ahead of things. I need you chill and take this in stride. We can still have a good time and have butterflies when we see each other, but let’s avoid putting unnecessary expectations before we truly know each other. Avoid a burn and turn situation.
- You are unable to say you want a relationship. I am interested in one, that’s why I’m here. We’re not tip toeing around this. We’re here to see if there is any potential for more. If you can’t admit that’s what dating is intended to evolve to, then maybe you need to stick to one-night stands at the bar.
- You still think about your ex. Your date may never know which is a shame if they like you. If your thoughts still linger about your ex, then you need to either re-open that relationship or close out that tab pronto! Everyone loses in this scenario, more specifically, no one gets laid.
- You have short fuse when it comes to the opposite sex. I get it. You’ve been burned by one or two or more from dating and now you may be hyper sensitive. I’ve done my fair share of man-bashing. It was very clear that I wasn’t a fan of men at the time. Take a break and focus on opposite sex friendships to help restore your faith.
- You are too picky. If you’re making judgement calls based on surface details such as their looks or dress, then get out of the dating pool. Come back when you’re real. Relationships are based on character, compatibility and chemistry. Don’t know what that looks like? See how you base your friendships. You probably have similar values, similar sense of humor, and/or similar attitude about life. Do the same in dating, just know your insides also have a say though. #tingintheding
I’ll know soon if I’m ready to get in there. Let’s see how I’m feeling in the following weeks.
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Happy Valentine’s Kids!
‘Til Next, Elisa
#baliboyfriendexperience #tingintheding #dontbethatperson