Someone asked me the other night if 2017 was a good or bad year. The question begged for a short answer or one-word response which I couldn’t give. To be frank, my first thought, it was shitty.
Let me put some lipstick on for you 2017 because you bent me over and fucked me good. This was probably one of the worst years I’ve ever experienced. Life hit me at every angle at the same time with no apologies.
So 2017 Was a Little Shit to Me…
- Dealt with a break up right before my birthday, the one day that you can’t help but be introspective and hard on yourself for all the things you haven’t achieved, or you’ve failed. #greattiming
- Learned I had to have an invasive eye surgery in the middle of that little emotional tug of war. I would go blind in my right eye in a couple of months if I didn’t go in now – a week after my birthday. #greattiming (again)
- The eye surgery was traumatic. My big round dark eyes were my best asset. I wasn’t sure about that anymore. Sometimes, I can feel what they did to my eye. It doesn’t help that I have a little blurred vision in my peripheral.
- The recovery was worse. All the years of hard work to get my body into shape had to come to a stop. I was hitting the gym 5-6 times a week with my lifting steady and stronger than ever. #greattiming
- Want another punch or two to the face? I couldn’t wear contacts, so no driving. I couldn’t get my eyes wet, so no pool time or getting dolled up to feel good (can’t wash the face) or go on a date. #greattiming
- Oh, and this little golden nugget – Thanks ex for not having the friendly decency to say, “Happy Birthday, sorry for being a dick” or “Get well, sorry for being a dick”.
I had to stay in, live in my head, and watch the world go by while I recovered for the next two long months.
In summary, I couldn’t be my resilient self again. Other times of my life, I may have chosen not to do shit, but this time, it wasn’t a choice and that was the worst feeling.
Fuck you 2017.
I had time to…think and build a raging hard on to slap 2017 back in the face. I’m not about to go blind with this mundane life. In my mind, I’m supposed to live a great life beyond this prescribed routine.
I Had to Get Out of My Own Ass.
- I modified my diet since I couldn’t exercise. I cut out drinking. I incorporated more tea. I stop eating late. The result? I started to lose the last 10 pounds I could never reduce.
- As soon as I was cleared from recovery, I joined a remote work travel program since I worked from home. Sicily would be my place for the month of August. Once the date was set, I couldn’t think about anything else, even my eye.
I ordered the Uber and was about to peel out of that shitty pity party.
Life pushed me close enough to the edge for me to finally act.
The plan was to change things up for a hot minute and get past this eye trauma. However, this change did far more.
2017 Can Go Fuck Itself, I’m at the Wheel Now.
The trip gave me a refreshed perspective. There were bigger things in life to worry about or to not be afraid of. (Not to mention, coming close to going blind.) I regained confidence and intrigue to explore the unknown again. I remembered the thrill in stepping out of my comfort zone. I made new friends that were completely different from me. I was re-centered and stripped away of all the layers of bullshit that really didn’t matter.
I gave up my Austin apartment, moved all my things into storage and committed to pursuing my version of happiness.
Traumatic times can bring out the greatest life changes. I would not have done any of this had I not been through these extremities.
If you follow my blog and Instagram (@Elisaut), you already know that I then went to South Africa for two months. I now have safaris, cage diving with the sharks and dancing to Afrikan music under my belt. That was an amazing trip and once again, it soon wasn’t my last.
I’m in Austin this weekend to spend time with my friends for the New Year. After that, I return to Houston to pack up for the next four months. I will be in Bali starting January for 6 weeks, then Vietnam for another. If you saw my #drunkblog on my Instagram Story from last night, you know I announced my April birthday plans and it’s nowhere near the States.
2017 was not a good year, it was a great fucking year. I did things and went places I never imagined I would go. My life has completely changed and all I want to do is grow this blog.
If I can sum it up in one word, it was transformational.
Was 2017 a good or bad year for you? What would it take for you to make the life change you’ve always dreamt of?
‘Til Next, Elisa