10 Reasons Why Santa Prefers You Single for Christmas

Got the holiday blues because you’re not tied down? Think again. You may not realize it, but you’ve got quite a life during this season. Santa loves you more and here are the reasons why.

1. Santa loves singles people more because they wear costumes for outfits and they are sexy as hell. Who makes good looking a priority? Single people! Trust, you will keep the party interesting with your little number. Have fun with some of these:

No costume? Then walk in with this bad boy to cover your outfit underneath. And, if you really want to take it up a notch behind closed doors, here is something for him or for her. Well hello!

2. You know want Santa doesn’t like? Predictable entertainment. Santa loves single people because they are very active and keep it fresh. Forget missionary unlike like our partnered peers. Those that are single will ho ho ho for some action and Santa will be very pleased walking into a home like yours.

3. Santa loves single people more because they have a super busy holiday schedule. Santa needs you out and about, not stuck at home where he will be seen. The only people that stay in during the holidays are the ones that didn’t keep the waistline or are simply keeping it missionary if you know what I mean.

4. Santa loves single people more because they play with fun or interesting gifts. No one is buying a new set of pajamas or a toaster. We’re excited to give and get sexy toys, lingerie, gag gifts, smart things, you name it! Here is a great stocking stuffer for the ladies.

One Christmas, my friend gave me these Japanese sweets. It was unique, cool and addicting. Damn, I could have one right now.

Then, there was that time I was about to send my boyfriend a ManCrates.com. This is one of the coolest gift giving inventions out there. Unfortunately, he was stupid to get caught and never got one. Have one delivered to a party!

5. Santa loves single people more because kids love single people which makes his job easier. You’re someone new, you’re fun and you’re cool, not like their parents. Who doesn’t love going to a family home and having your own #instafanclub Plus, you get to leave whenever you want and get back to your cozy, quiet, organized home.

6. Santa like singles more because you keep the mistletoe business alive. Its underrated and hardly at any parties. There definitely won’t be any at office Christmas parties this year. Thanks to you closet predators. For everyone else, make sure to hang those suckers at your party. Then, lure the cutie to some small conversation your way.  “So, what do you think about the weather? How about that, look what we’re under!” Did someone say #mistletoeparties

7. Santa loves you because you keep in better shape than our partnered peers during the holidays. Training for beach bod season is coming up and you know the gym will be crowded with January-only members. Single people get ahead of it and don’t deviate too far. Keep it up good looking!

8.  Santa loves you more because you can do whatever you want. No one is on your case about your weight. Indulge in those little sausages all you want. Have at the liquor cabinet. You’re not embarrassing anyone or any partner. You don’t even need to know the time. There is no babysitter to rush back home to.

9. Santa loves single people more because they aren’t killing mother nature by chopping down live trees. We don’t trouble ourselves with that mess. Single people are efficient and keep the ornaments minimal except for mistletoes and costumes, of course, and those are recyclable.

10. Santa loves single people more because they get out of his way by traveling instead of sticking around. Did someone say Europe or Asia? Want to place some sports bets in Vegas? There is enough family piling up in homes judging each other among the kid chaos all while staring out the window and wondering what else is out there.

This is not to say that married folks don’t have fun. Some do, it’s just a select amount and I happen to know all of them. 🙂

Realize how good you have it riding solo. Christmas is whatever you want it to be.

#screewtheholidayblues Cheers!

‘Til Next, Elisa

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s