Give Up the Game.

A direct message was waiting for me that morning. “We’re in Cape Town!” He came across my profile online due to the number of mutual friends from the same city and we happened to both be here. He was with a group of four and invited me to meet up with them.

They were staying in the Bay Hotel, a posh accommodation nestled in the upscale neighborhood of Camps Bay in Cape Town. My kind of scene. I was itching for a new experience. This couldn’t have come at a better time.

“Have you looked into him or his friends? What do you know about him? Is he cute?” my suit-mate asked.

I share between 15-25 mutual friends across the group. We run in the same circles and he and his friends seem like a responsible group. That’s enough to go. I’m not interested in any match made in heaven. The worst-case scenario would be coming back in a bad mood on a wasted Uber. Otherwise, I have new experience to gain.

We met at the sunset deck of the hotel. Introductions were made, and glasses of bubbles were poured. Most of his friends seemed nice. Soon after, we walked over to our 8:30p dinner reservation.

sunset deck bay hotel

Conversation was pleasant, interesting and inclusive. By the end, they were gracious to treat me to dinner. Some were worn out from day drinking by the pool while one still wanted to explore the city. The night was not about to end for him, but it was for me. I was winding down.

In the end, it was a mellow night, nothing too crazy or out of the ordinary transpired. I connected with three new lovely people. I saw another side of Camps Bay and, by this this week, I’m visiting the hotel again to take a set of friends to enjoy the infinity pool and sexy lounge area. The evening was a win for me, but then there was one more thing.

Before I left, my new friend and I agreed to reconnect when I returned to Texas by the end of November. I could tell we were curious about each other. To what extent? I don’t know, we were in a group setting for the most part.

I came into that night with absolutely no expectation for romance and, somehow, I got a date out of this. My, how my mindset has changed from a few years back.

I’m living today with the possibility that I may never get that white picket fence. While that may sound sad to some, it’s liberating. There is no feeling of shame, just peace. My decisions and experiences are no longer held by the what ifs. I am more present than ever in the things I do and are less driven by dating probabilities or the hunt for it.

The benefit? I am blown away by how often my experiences surpass my expectations.

Come at me life. I am embracing it all and not longing for something more.

‘Til Next, Elisa

Ps. Link to a great read – More people than ever before are single – and that’s a good thing.

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