TSW is a goal-oriented program. Each blog is pivoted around a goal(s) to help users identify the things they want to accomplish in their lives to build out their list.
While most are thinking about resolutions, I goals, I wanted to take the time to think about 2016. If you didn’t learn anything, isn’t it just a wasted year?
It’s important for me to recognize that some actions that I thought were negative, inconsiderate or shameful at the time, really weren’t. To qualify, would my eighty-year-old self say, “Who cares? There are more serious things to worry about. Now get me a Negoni!”
My eighty-year-old self will not regret from 2016:
- turning off the news
- not letting a man’s aggression deter me from my stance
- spending more money than I should for a good time
- taking the initiative to reach out to a lost friendship
- not feeling ashamed that I’m not married and enjoying my status fully
- losing money at the Golden Nugget
- taking a chance on myself
- canceling commitments because I just wasn’t feeling up for it
- breaking up with someone who had issues with my friends
- or simply breaking up (it just happens)
- creating and keeping my go fund me for my annual trip regardless of the controversy
- shifting my priorities
- not ignoring my feelings for someone else’s
- doing the 100 goal exercise
- cutting out that super judgmental “friend” (oh her face is priceless!)
- feeling proud of my body
- recognizing there are behaviors I want to improve about myself
- prioritizing my family time over other things
- not feeling guilty for taking time off from work
- letting him look a little longer
- deciding not to wait for a partner to help me fulfill my dreams and milestones
- being selfish
The same goes for things I dismissed this year. In hindsight, they were a bigger deal and should not (and will not) happen again.
What I will not tolerate in 2017 and there on after:
- letting out my frustration on customer service – They are human doing their jobs. They are not perfect nor am I. Mistakes happen.
- pity dates – No longer going against my better judgement.
- ordering in too often – My wallet and my belly can take a break.
- letting my pride get in the way – Pride is simply a problem. When does it ever win?
- letting a guy’s unsolicited unflattering comments about my body bother me – Some guys think they are entitled to offer criticism, suggestions or a crack. My body is not for you. Have some respect and decency.
- raising my voice at my mom – We are on borrowed time. Mom is precious.
- not ending a relationship as soon I as I was completely turned off and not myself – Once again, we are on borrowed time.
- letting my workout schedule take precedence over personal commitments that mattered – I have the rest of my life to maintain.
- not having more patience – The work and the world can wait and so can I.
- letting only him get off (sorry Mom) – Self-explanatory.
Ultimately, there is no need for regret. My goal is to remind myself where I can improve and make myself happier.
My eighty-year-old litmus test I base my judgement calls on came from a read years ago. It put things in perspective for me. A nurse logged the most common regrets of the dying. When you’re in the last stages in life, a lot of what is going on doesn’t matter, only your reflection of your lifetime.
Will you look back and agree you lived happily or did you live the way you were expected to? Did you live for yourself or for others?
2016 Will be a waste if I didn’t learn and appreciate from it. Time flies and reflecting helps it to stand a little still for that moment.
I’m about 5 away from completing my 100 for 2017. I was nerd and reviewed it, assessed it and organized it by deadline, cadence, and category. (I still did a bit more than that, but I digress.) I was initially hard on myself because there were a lot of behavioral changes that can’t be truly measured and that’s ok.
For the majority of my goals though, it looks like I’m setting up 2017 to be a meaningful, purposeful year for myself.
‘Til Next, Elisa
Ps. I hope I’m not a crochity old woman when I’m eighty. That’s the one thing my younger self asks of my older self.